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| User: | mahaloluinoa (974512)  The Bride
Always Read the Fine Print: Not As Stupid As I Pretend To Be™ |
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| Name: | The Angel of Devastation™ - 100% Cheeto Free! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Message | Send mahaloluinoa a text message on his/her cellphone/pager. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Location: | Beaverton, Oregon, United States | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Bio: |
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pseudomonas me scripsit anno 2005
 "All of my indentured servants are white." ~Stella Malia Chang~ "Thank you for not wiping your ass on her heart." malackeyAs previously mentinoned, 99% of this journal is ....  The Dao of Holly [title credit: malackey]You had me at 'Federalist No. 10.' - centerfire"Trey stayed Trey. You can't change a Trey. You need to find a Harry." - txvoodoo"Never be the game piece, only be the game PLAYER!" - txvoodoo"Is it weird that when I was in my bathroom this morning, I noticed my son had put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll and, of course, it was 'backwards' and I thought, ' mahaloluinoa would approve.' It's a testament to our friendship that toilet paper is starting to make me think of you." - ohhjuliet"The laziest fuck ever. You'd get more movement out of a blow up doll with a leak." - malackey"It's 'Sex and the City' meets ESPN!" - besideserato"One thing I enjoy about your posts is their tendency to sometimes read as a translation from some alien tongue. :)" - melvin_udall"Craziness is a good thing. It gives you character." - yuenglingrrl147 "It's like every time you speak, you reaffirm your awesomeness." - pilarcruz"Dood. You still don't have a myspace." - skibinskaya" mahaloluinoa made me laugh so hard, I spit rainbow dots all over the laptop screen!" - libertybells"I love you. In a friendly, i don't really love you way though. :]" - theresalynnmae"It's not what you give; it's who you give it to." - Nine "The bitch ain't my Pinch for nothin'... and I'm not acting all Captain Save-A-Ho here..." - bortyspice"Except for the profanity and the excessive use of alcohol, it pretty much reflects the good things about her!" - Name Withheld "How can someone be such a hussy online, and such a chicken shit in real-life?" - dazednotconfusd"She has a very masculine track of thought, but it is vibrant with her femininity. The result is Carrie Bradshaw with a good tackle and a touchdown. Now darling. Let's have a cocktail!" - besideserato"Are you mad at me?" - Stephen Glass "You're my favorite amongst the people I've never met!!" - guastomisero" 'A retarded Canadian actor playing an American slimeball.' That's how they should have promoted the movie!" - fleurdelista on "Shattered Glass" "What a wingnut!" - Anonymous Reader in Manhattan "Not everybody can brag that they banned Jesus. That's sort of an achievement." - liberpolly"Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!" - dazednotconfusd"You haven't really earned your arrogance, but you carry it off with style." - Takoma Park Resident “I took a page from the Book of Holly.” - malackey"What I like about you is your take-no-prisoners attitude. No matter what the issue is, whether it makes you nervous or not, you find some way to tackle it. You are a ball breaker in the best sense of the term, but even in your fierceness you are far from heartless." - shellefly" mahaloluinoa is witty and awesomely articulate. Plus, she's so gangsta. Thug life foreva G!" - littlebluedog"Panda Cremes are good. Send more please!" - cgallivan"Subtlety is your superpower." - malackey"I love your fearlessness...even if you are frightened. I love the way you march forth into new and potentially dangerous territories...sometimes, with no armor whatsoever. I love that you are opinionated...and absolutely, completely, unapologetic. I love that you can laugh at yourself. I love the way you look into your soul, and are able to grab what is there and brandish it, proudly, for everyone to see." - skibinskaya"Imagine 'Leaving Las Vegas' - but as a dark comedy." - libertybells"If there wasn't an ocean and stupid visa between us, I'd fly over and ... I don't know, but it would involve glue and glitter and vodka and dancing in feathers in the street." - besideserato"You could take on Athena in a fight and win. Now just do it with a potential relationship ... You WANT love, you NEED love. You'll never find it if you're too scared to jump in and potentially be hurt again." - skibinskaya" mahaloluinoa, will you marry me?" - Jason Varitek"I'm like Dorothy Parker, on acid!" - mahaloluinoaThe Nutkicker's Guide to the Universe, as explained by centerfireSpeaking as a man, this depends on the severity of the nut-kick. There are, really, three varieties: (1) The Graze. Sometimes occurs with deliberate attempts to injure that are near-misses, but most often happens accidentally, such as when the woman swings her purse and happens to catch her guy right there. Causes immediate agony, swearing, et cetera, but rarely elicits a lasting grudge. (2) The Solid Hit. Self-explanatory. You lined them up and made square contact. Pain in this case is on a slight time-delay, as if the brain is taking an extra second to register what just happened: "Wait, yes, I've just been kicked in the nuOOOOOOOWWWWWW." Pain is excruciating. Rolling around on the floor clutching one's groin is not uncommon. Perpetrators should be warned that the time-delay affords victims a brief window of opportunity for retaliatory bitchslapping. However, such hits are still forgivable, particularly if there's a compensatory blowjob involved. (3) The Moon-Shot. This is rarified territory, well beyond category #2. Think of what David Ortiz does to a hanging slider right over the plate and you have an idea of the viciousness of the contact. Can cause ruptures, blackouts, changes in the pitch of one's voice, and prayers for the sweet, sweet release that death brings. Again the pain will sometimes be on time delay, as if the brain is trying to ensure that the testicles are still attached; as with #2, be forewarned against retaliatory bitchslapping. Absolutely unforgivable, even if compensatory blowjobs are available.       "Because I'm Beautiful" Original Painting by Megan Lee Welch Hey, while you're browsing here, support the arts. Also. Don't you need some fabulous art items? I thought so. "I like to have a martini Two at the very most -- After three I'm under the table, After four, I'm under my host." -- Dorothy Parker "I feel sorry for people who don't drink, I mean it - 'cause when they wake up in the mornin', that's as good as they're gonna feel all day." -- Dean Martin      Curtsies to besideserato Oh yeah and one last thing. Don't piss me off. I am The Bride.   All original content © copyright 2003-2006 mahaloluinoa unless otherwise cited.   Website Counter | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Memories:: | 45 entries | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Pictures: | fewer than 10 public | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Interests: | 150: adventure, all the president's men, american history, american literature, american presidents, amsterdam, babe paley, baseball, being pretentious, bend it like beckham, bluebloods, boston, boston celtics, boston red sox, broadway, cats, challenge, chambord, charlotte york, cinema, cocktails, combat, comedy, cosmopolitans, david netto, despising metro, dramatic arts, drinking, ecstasy, elections, ernie els, espn, espnzone, fallon carrington, fantasy boyfriend league, fashion, fate, federal judiciary, female quixotism, football, foxnews, fozzie bear, french martinis, fucking with stupid people, gay men, gay rights, gender, george w. bush, george washington university, golf, hating stephen glass, haute couture, henri bendel, herman melville, hitchcock, inconvenient romance, intrigue, introspection, israel, jason varitek, kill bill, knowing glances, law, libertarianism, log cabin republicans, love, michael kors, michelle malkin, mitt romney, mocking people from arkansas, mocking the less fortunate, money, monument valley, mystery, nebraska cornhuskers, neiman marcus, new england, new england patriots, news, nfl network, nick mills, oasis, old money, overthinking everything, painkillers, patcockpro, percocet, pga tour, phil mickelson, philip roth, portland, pragmatism, project runway, punditry, rape of the earth, rationality, red line, red sox, religion, repartee, republican, retief goosen, richard nixon, robert redford, romanticism, sacred heart, sarah lawrence college, sarcasm, satire, seduction, seinfeld, sex, sex and the city, shattered glass, singletons, social history, society, south park, sports, sportscenter, stoli, style, supreme court, takoma park, tax cuts, tea bags, team america, the hague, the hours, theatre, tiffany & co, tom brady, tragedy, transcendentalism, travel, travelling, trey parker, u.s. constitution, u.s. politics, uma thurman, unconventionality, washington dc, washington post, watergate, wine, wit, woodley park, writing, x, zionism | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Account type: | Paid Account | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
